mmm... crazy!

Holy fuck balls fat elephant! Where have you been?

O hey there! Yeah, sorry, I been crazy busy you know chillin', hangin', havin' a brew..

Or few?

..true...

Its not that I haven't wanted to blog. I've tried, really! But the fact is that i've started multiple ramblings and then either by realising they're rubbish and going nowhere or simply sobering up, have dismissed them!

Sobering up?

Yeah... i sometimes find myself sitting at home alone... drinking $2 cask wine and...

And?

And... eating peanuts from the bag... i don't even shell them first...

O fat elephant...

Don't judge me!! I feel like there's so much pressure on me at the moment! My tusks haven't come through and either because of that or my extreme lack of rhythm they kicked me out of the Elephant March. Also being constantly called fat is really starting to weigh on me. I tried to lose a few kg but I ended up looking all saggy and baggy and some smart arse parrot kept laughing at me! I thought I'd invest in a little R&R and went to the circus one afternoon. But they dressed me up as a clown and kept telling me to flap my ears and fly!!!!

Ok. Ok. Calm down, mate. Breathe! Jeezus, you're starting to sound a little crazy there!

Crazy? Me? Thats like a pot calling a kettle black isn't it?

What's that supposed to mean?

Well, dickhead, in case you haven't noticed, I'm you. Your alter ego, online alias, whatever. And you, are obviously, you too! So to break it down, you've been ranting on a good few paragraphs now to yourself!

Hmmm I see your point...

Uh huh... So you gonna pass that crack pipe or what?

Wait a sec... Does this mean you're going to start blogging again?

Yeah I'm gonna try! That's the best i got at the moment. Now light me up, dammit!